My Boyfriend Smokes Weed

Hello Blackman,

I am a 35 year old single black mom. I have been seeing a really nice guy for the past year. The only glaring flaw I see in him is that he smokes weed. I could never see myself dating a "weed head." I really like him a lot but I don't like this habit. What should I do?

Tina from Michigan



Hello Tina,

Let me start off by saying that nobody is perfect. We all have our vices whether it's alcohol, gambling, tobacco food, sugar whatever. Just because it's illegal doesn't mean that its any worse than the things that the "gubmint" says is o.k. Cigarettes kill more people than drugs and guns combined in this country. I've never saw anyone smoke a joint and kill a bunch of innocent people in a car. I'm not advocating getting high, because I don't get high but you just have to ask, does his smoking weed negatively impact other parts of his life? Does it get in the way of him earning a living? Does it keep him from doing other things that he should be doing? If not, there are far worse things that he could be doing than smoking weed.

If it bothers you that much, you can ask him not to do it around you, where you live, or in your car. Life is tough enough without catching a charge for possession. Other than that I don't see problem. Lighten up.

Should I Break up with my Boyfriend?

Hi,

I just wanted a man's opinion about this. I think its finally time to leave my boyfriend. We have broken up before but we have always gotten back together. I hate to throw away all the good times we have had together in the past five years. Help me.

Rachel


Hi Rachel,

Just the fact that you are asking this question, tells me that you know what the answer is. It's not me that you should be asking but yourself. Ask yourself, "Am I better or worse being with this person?" "Does he encourage me to be my best everyday?" "Does he want the best for me?" If you are still unsure, take a piece of paper, fold it down the middle. On one side write down everything he's done to hurt you over the years. On the other side write down everything he's done to build you up. One side will be longer than the other.

Life is far too short to spend it with someone who drains energy from it rather than add to it. My Grandmother used to say, "You can do bad by yourself."

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My Son Hates My Boyfriend

Hi, I am a 34 year old single mom with two teenagers. My daughter is 13 and my son is 15. The problem I'm having is my son doesn't like my boyfriend and makes him feel uncomfortable whenever he comes to visit.

- Ms. Lee

Hello Ms. Lee,

I'm not sure what your relationship with your son is, but it is possible he sees something in your boyfriend that he doesn't like. You must remember that a boy's first girlfriend is his mom. Maybe he will not like any man you bring home. As long is the man is respectful to you and you both are respectful to the home, you may have to remind your son that you have a right to companionship and to be happy. Hopefully, over time, he can get over any negative feelings.

Good luck.

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Inconsiderate Co-worker

Hi Blackman, I recently started working at a new company. Most of my co-workers are ok except for one. She is constanly on the phone or taking a smoke break. She flirts with the male employees and she doesn't do her share of the work at all. She's driving me crazy. What should I do?

Casey M., Virginia

This one is easy. Mind your own business! Your co-worker's behavior has nothing to do with you. You have no control of how others act, but you do have control of how you respond to it. It only bothers you because you let it. Handle your own work and things will be alright. You are new there, so don't start off by looking like a troublemaker.

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